Part Of Me Dies

On page 70, Saidu, one of the boys says, “How many more times do we have to come to terms with death before we find safety?” He goes on to say, “Every time people come at us with the intention of killing us, I close my eyes and wait for death. Even thought I am still alive, I feel like each time I accept death, part of me dies. Very soon I will completely die and all that will be left is my empty body walking with you. It will be quieter than I am.”

Humans have the ability to adapt to their situations. We are wired to adjust to what is thrown at us in a way that will best protect us. In the situation Saidu describes, he is faced with what he believes to be the ending of his life. The way he instinctually protects himself is by coming to terms with it, by accepting his death. Once one accepts their death they cannot fully recover. To accept death is to devalue your future. This is a scarring action. Each time one accepts death a part of them, in a sense, does die. A necessary component to living is the value you place on your future. We have all heard the phrase “Which does not kill us makes us stronger”. These hardships may have made Saidu stronger, but who said stronger was a good thing? In adapting to these unfavorable situations Saidu’s innocence and free spirit has been killed. And as his hope for the future and value of life slowly diminishes with every near-death experience, he is slowly being killed. In this case strength has done nothing but weigh down this poor mistreated soul and callous his spirit.